Unprepared
by Walking0nSunshine
Summary: Kurt thought he was ready to take that step with Blaine. Everything was perfectly planned, but as always nothing goes according to plan
1. Chapter 1

Written to this prompt .?thread=39160822#t39160822

They're lying in bed. a delicate trace of moonlight is brightening the room.

Apart from the sounds of kissing and heavy shallow breathing everything is quiet.

They're facing each other, tracing small patterns on their naked arms and chests. Next thing Kurt knows Blaine, who is still a little bit tipsy from the wine they had for dinner, is manoeuvring between his legs and starts placing wet kisses along his neck and jaw-line.

Kurt's breath becomes speeds up as Blaine is sucking and gently biting his nipples. He can feel his pants getting dangerously tight. When Blain presses their clothed erections together they both moan shamelessly.

"It feels so good" says Kurt in a raspy voice.

"That's good baby. I want to make you feel good like you never felt before" Blaine answers and presses them together even harder, his moves becoming bolder.

Everything seems like a blur to Kurt. He only remembers the moment when Blaine lays his palm on his erection and starts moving his hand frantically, sucking hard on the skin behind Kurt's ear whispering filthy things.

"Oh baby you're so hot, so gorgeous. I want you so badly. I want to suck you off and then you'll finish on my face. I want to fuck you. Fuck your tight your tight virgin ass like there is no tomorrow. You wear those inappropriately tight jeans, and you have no idea what the sight of your perfect ass is doing to me. When you bend over to pick something up it makes me? want to push you against the nearest wall and fuck you senseless. Please baby you'll feel so good."

Kurt starts feeling a little nervous. It's not how it's supposed to be like. Sure he knows that Blaine tends to get a little handsy after a couple of drinks and maybe a little too vulgar for his taste, but it shouldn't be like that. He imagined candles, soft music in the background, delicate kisses and reassurances of love. He wanted slow lovemaking definitely not a rough, drunken fuck

He wants to say something to stop this or ask Blaine to change his attitude, but he is silenced by a rough sloppy kiss.

Everything becomes way too much when he feel one of Blaine's hands on his cock, stroking it and pumping fast and the other trying to remove Kurt's pants.

"God please stop" he screams. But Blaine doesn't. He pushes Blaine off him, and starts frantically dressing himself, mumbling "Can't do this, too fast, not supposed be like that" to himself like mantra all over again thing he know, Blaine is right next to him trying to hold him and calm him down.

"I'm so sorry honey, please forgive me, I shouldn't act like that."

Kurt looks at him with tear-filled eyes and says "I'm sorry Blaine, I can't do this right now. I'm sorry. I have to go!" He finds himself running down the stairs until Blaine's voice, begging him to come back, is fading in the background.

Kurt didn't remember getting into the car or driving at all. When he stopped the engine he found himself at the outskirts of Lima. Everything that happened tonight hit him with a double force. After a while he realised that he was gripping tightly steering wheel and tears were flooding down his cheeks. Uncontrolled sobs were wrecking through his body.

How did this, happened in the first place? Everything was perfectly planned. After the premiere night of "West Side Story" they decided to ditch Artie's afterparty at Breadsticks and have their own celebratory, romantic dinner. Because of Sebastian Kurt wanted some intimacy between them. He knew he wasn't 100% sure about going all the way in bedroom department, but that was Blaine for Christ's sake. Together they could get through everything. All the problems, all the insecurities stopped existing as long as they have each other.

The obvious mistake was drinking that wine for dinner. It was supposed to help them relax, lose some inhibitions. He didn't want them to be tipsy during their first time. Only slightly intoxicated, just to help them/him to get rid of some insecurities. Instead everything got out of control.

Kurt rested his head on a steering wheel and sighed deeply.

How he was going to face Blaine now? Oh god what was Blaine going to think of him? Probably that he was some kind of freak who is afraid of intimacy, and after tonight events he for sure won't talk to him ever again. Blaine, will break-up with him, and he'll start dating Sebastian. Sebastian was more experienced, and he wouldn't freak out in bed like Kurt.

When he finally calmed himself down, Kurt decided that it was right time to go home. He only prayed that his Dad and Carole won't be home just yet. He wasn't sure he'd be able to answer questions about tonight without bursting into tears.

Before he started the engine, Kurt checked his phone. 5 missed calls and 13 messages from Blaine.

(10:17 pm) From Blaine

_Kurt baby I'm so sorry please answer your phone._

(10:17 pm) From Blaine

_I shouldn't said that, I know I'm stupid._

(10:18 pm) From Blaine

_I won't be surprised if you actually wouldn't want to talk to me ever again. I've acted like an asshole._

(10:18 pm) From Blaine

_Honey I love you, please pick up your phone. Let's talk._

(10:18 pm) From Blaine

_Kurt I need to tell you how sorry I am._

(10:19 pm) From Blaine

_Kurt I'm starting to worry._

(10:22 pm) From Blaine

_Please, answer me._

(10:45 pm) From Blaine

_Kurt it's been almost an hour since you left please text me that everything is ok._

(10:46 pm) From Blaine

_Honey I'm really worried_

(10:47 pm) From Blaine

_Fuck Kurt please don't break up with me._

(10:47 pm) From Blaine

_Oh god I really fucked up this time didn't I?_

(10:48 pm) From Blaine

_If something happened to you I'll never forgive myself so please answer me or I'll be forced after midnight to call your Dad and ask about you being safely at home, and we both don't want this, but I swear to god I'll do it if you won't answer at least to one of my texts._

(10:50 pm) From Blaine

_Ok I guess you don't want to talk to me at all. I need you to know that I'm so so sorry. I've acted like a jerk. Remember that I love you no matter what. Sweet dreams honey_

He quickly typed the response.

(11:05 pm) To Blaine

_I'm fine I'll call you in the morning._


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Kurt tried to call Blaine about 20 times. Resigned, he thrown his phone on the bed, and decided to reorganize his closet. When he was halfway through planning his outfits for the next week his phone buzzed. Kurt unlocked it and opened the message. It was from Blaine.

"_Kurt I'm sorry that I didn't answered my phone earlier. I know you've been worried I just needed some time alone, and after what happened yesterday I think it'd be the best for both of us if we split up for a while. I clearly hurt you, and I don't want this to happen ever again. You need to understand that I'm doing it because I love you and that I'm trying to protect you from myself. I think that for now we don't have to tell anyone, I'd like to avoid unnecessary fuss because of that. Also I'd like us to be civil towards each other at school, but after school I'm asking for zero contact between us. I know you hate me right now, I hate myself too, but I'm doing it to make things on a long term better between us. I love you__，__always. Remember that"_

His phone landed on the floor. Kurt covered his mouth with his hand to silence frantic sobs escaping his body. Tears were streaming down his face. He could feel like his legs slowly turned into cotton. No longer, being able to stand, Kurt slump down onto his bed. He buried his face into the pillow and cried. Thank god he remembered his Dad telling him earlier that week, that he and Carole are leaving early in the morning to spend this weekend alone. Finn was at Puck's and he won't be back until Sunday evening.

He didn't remember anything much from that weekend. He was crying to oblivion, passing out from exhaustion for a couple of hours, waking up and everything was repeating itself all over again.

On Sunday evening he has written a note to his father telling him that he wasn't feeling very well and he went to bed earlier that day.

Later when he was lying in his bed, and sleep didn't want to come, clenching pillow tightly against his chest and for the first time he allowed himself to think about what Blaine said.

He said that he loved Kurt, and that he did for them. To help, their relationship. But what if it was only an excuse so Blaine could break up with him. Find someone better, more experienced, funnier than Kurt, someone who won't dress so flamboyant or sound like a girl, someone with who Blaine won't be embarrassed to show with in public.

Maybe Sebastian was right maybe Blaine was too good for him. Maybe Kurt was just some weird faggy kid that is afraid of other people touch and no one really wants to be with. Maybe he's destined to be alone.

Such thoughts were panting inside his head, until around 5 am he practically unconscious drifted into restless sleep.

When Kurt woke up an hour later he felt like shit. The only thing he wanted to do was curling up in bed, and never leaving it again. Finally after finding enough physical strength to get up, he went to the bathroom with intention to drown himself. Before getting into the shower he looked at his reflection in the mirror. With a first glance at himself he could safely say that besides feeling like shit he also looked like shit. He was paler than usual. Huge bags, has formed under his eyes after sleepless nights. He also might, lost a few pounds during this weekend, because every time he tried to eat something he ended throwing up.

Shower didn't help at all. His muscles still were tense, and salty tears were mixing with pouring water. He never wanted to leave his room. He knew he wasn't prepared to see Blaine, not without bursting into tears in the middle of corridor.

When he got out of the shower he decided to skip his moisturizing routine. He didn't style his hair like he usually did. Even clothes which he put on were randomly chosen.

He didn't see the point in trying even the slightest. The only person he truly loved and wanted to impress didn't want him. So why even bother. It's not like there was a queue of cute guys waiting for him to be single again. Besides he only wanted Blaine nobody else.

Breakfast was a disaster. His Dad was looking at him suspiciously. Constantly asking is everything ok, why Kurt is not eating anything, and is he aware how sick he looks. Kurt got rid of him by telling that he has a stomach bug, and he was puking all night which was partially true.

Burt insisted that Kurt should stay home, but he brushed him off telling that he simply can't miss classes not during his senior year.

Ride to school wasn't particularly pleasant either. Tension in the car was practically unbearable. Finn couldn't stop looking at him. Kurt saw that he even tried to ask about something but after opening his mouth his step-brother immediately shut them not knowing what to say.

When Kurt pull over in a parking lot he told Finn to go and don't wait up for him, because he needed to check something before classes started.

Finally when he was alone and there was no one in sight, Kurt once again let his tears freely stream down his face. _You can do this_ he told himself. _You were alone before, this is nothing new to you. Old habits die hard right?_

When there were no more tears to cry. Kurt wiped his eyes and got out of car. He took a deep calming breath and he was turning around to go in school direction when he suddenly felt horrible freezing feeling going down through his body and a very painful sting in his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Being slushied was always something he loathed but today it brought him down even more. His hair was slicked to his skull and clothes soaked in sticky red liquid. On top of everything that happened to him during these past few days, this morning he has forgot his spare clothes. That meant he had to get though all of his lessons, sticky and vulnerable.

"Good morning Lady Boy," shouted one of jocks who hadslushied him, while he was heading in school direction.

Kurt sighed deeply._Well I guess it can't get worse from this point._

He had no idea how wrong he was.

Apparently every jock out of blue recalled about him today. It was like his sophomore and junior year all over again. There were those horrible names shouted when he was walking down the corridor. Somebody even shoved him into the locker. Lessons and teachersweren't merciful either. Three unannounced tests to which he didn't study for that weekend and a huge pile of homework. It was only the beginning of the week showed him that universetruly hated him at the moment.

The worst of it all was seeing Blaine during the breaks. He was sending Kurt those long lasting glances, but Kurt could see only one thing in his eyes. They were full of pity. That made him sick on his stomach. With the remains of the willpower, he withheldhimself from running to the nearest bathroom, dropping onto his knees and emptying his stomach. Kurt could feel his eyes watering. He fought back the urge to cry, and started walking quickly in the opposite direction.

When he found himself inside an empty not used for a very long time classroom, he once again allowed himself to have a breakdown.

_I can't do this,___he thought. _How could I actually thought that he wanted to be with me?__It wasn't love,____he only pitied me._

The new wave of hot tears spilled down his cheeks. He just sat there and silently sobbed. Kurt didn't know how long he was inside that classroom. When he checked his phone he realised that he's missed most of his Monday's classes. There were also 15 new messages, and 5 missed calls. But none of them were from Blaine.

He felt sting in his heart. He didn't even care. Kurt could get killed, or been hitby a truck and Blaine still didn't care. Blaine didn't even seemed to notice how horrible and broken Kurt looked today. Why Blaine decided to put up with Kurt in the first place, he didn't have to be a charity case, he could have found himself someone better, not broken beyond repair, pathetic Kurt Hummel. So many questions swirled inside Kurt's head.

He decided to skip today's Glee practice. He knew he won't be able to survive without having a breakdown, and the last thing he wanted was other glee clubbers pitying him. He couldn't stand that how weak he was. All what he wanted to do right now was to curl up in his bed wrapped tightly in the blanket, with the ungodly amount of junk food and depressing Adele in the background.

When he left the classroom he quickly texted Finn that he's fine, he just needed some time for himself and he wanted to be left alone, and that he won't be attending today's glee practice, so Finn needs to find someone who will give him a lift. After sending the message he turned off his phone, and directed himself into the parking lot.

Without Finn in the car Kurt allowed himself to turn on the music very loud and sing along with Adele about horrible breakup. He must look like a mad man, but he simply didn't give a fuck about what other people might have thoughtwhen they saw him like that.

When he reached home, he quickly left his shoes in the hall went to the kitchen and gathered as much unhealthy food that Finn stocked he could find.

Being finally in his room was a blessing for Kurt. He immediately changed his covered in red slushie clothes into a hoodie and a sweatpants, and he was about to went through his movies collection. His goal was to watch as much depressing movies as he could manage, eat junk food and wallow in self-pity.

When he was in the middle of third movie he heard a soft knock at the door. A moment later Burt came in. He sat next to Kurt and took a DVD into his hand.

"500 Days of Summer, Pride and Prejudice, Bridget Jones Diary? You've pulled some heavy guns here. Want to tell me what's happening?"

"Nothing really, Dad."

"Kurt, don't lie to me. Don't forget that I know you like nobody else, I raised you. I know when you. So now tell me what's going on."

"Blaine and I are hita bump in the road and kind of broke up he said that he needed some time to re-think stuff".

Burt hugged tightly his son**,**"He'll come around. And if he won't**,** thenhe's an idiot, and that will only mean that he wasn't good enough for you. You're a unique kid, Kurt and you deserve so much more that thistown, heck the whole state can offer you. Your destiny is New York and if someone can'tkeep up with your pace than it means you're not right for each other."

"Thanks Dad." said Kurt while he was trying the best he could not to burst into tears after hearing his father kind words.

"Remember. If you ever have a problem**, ** come with it to me no matter what it is**, **ok? I want us to be able to tell each other everything. You can always trust me and lean on me kiddo, you've got my full support no matter what. I might not like it, but it's my job to love you and be there for you regardless, to day and hour." And with that, words he got up, kissed his son's forehead and left the room.

Later that night, when Kurt was lying in his bed, he started to think about what his father said, and for the first time in days, he believed he could be all right.


End file.
